Let the Monsters see you Smile

This has been a rough couple of weeks.  Between the stress of waiting for Olivia's pathology report (which I am still livid about) and hosting my first Thanksgiving in our home along with a small health scare with hubby (which turned out to be nothing serious, thankfully), let's just say the wind was knocked out of me.  Now add Christmas and all that that implies.  Decorating.  Cleaning.  Shopping. Wrapping.  Parties.  Fun stuff, but lots of work as you all know.  Now for good measure, let's add a two year old birthday party, a dance recital and the check ups for kids.  And throw in a wicked double ear infection that now requires daily antibiotics  indefinitely, one trip to the ER and now the need for a ENT consult for tubes.  Good times.

And if you thought that was all...

About 3 weeks ago, I started noticing very pronounced numbness in my hands and feet.  I had issues with numbness in my feet about a million years ago and saw some specialists and they suggested a few possible causes but nothing was definitive.  I let it go.  Now it was back, but much worse.  Then it started to spread to arms and legs.  Then the worst headaches of my life along with a couple of other weird neurological type symptoms.  I made an appointment with our doctor expecting to be blown off and told it was either anxiety or migraines.  (Even though I know I'd felt both of those things before and this was completely different.)  Turns out, they did take it seriously and sent me for an MRI.  I got the results last week.  I have a couple of lesions on my brain.  In all likelihood, I have MS.  Multiple Sclerosis.  The report narrowed it down to 3 possible causes.  One was ruled out with blood work, the other because of my age and last is MS.  In my intense "googling" over the past week, I have learned quite a bit and come to realize that I could be the posted child for this disease.   It's crazy just how fitting this diagnosis is.  Things I have been suffering with for years (like weird eye pain and remarkable clumsiness) are like pieces of a puzzle that now just fit.  They have referred me to a neurologist that I will see at the end of the month.  I am likely headed toward some painful and scary tests.  My doctor told me if the symptoms got worse before my consult, to return to them, which I had to a few days later.  I will now need to start steroids.  This makes my doctor all the more convinced that this is, in fact, what's going on with me.

Isn't this supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year?

In all honesty, I think I am handling it pretty well.  I would so much rather it be me with health issues than my husband or my kids.  In some weird way, I think I can control what's happening to me.   It's much more scary watching your loved ones goes through these things.  If I can keep them well, then I know we can enjoy our holidays. Last year was such a nightmare.  This year has to be better.  I know it will be.